Ten Annoying Things That He’s Learned About Me In The First Month Of Living Together

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 Ten Annoying Things That He’s Learned About Me In The First Month Of Living Together

“Before you live with a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are.” Will Ferrell

 Apparently my quirks aren’t so cute anymore.  But nothing is a dealbreaker yet. We  are figuring out how to exist together in a way that’s both scary and comforting, hilarious and serious, calming and nerve racking, and utterly unique in every way. Here are ten things he has learned about me so far. 

I use the Find My Phone App on a regular basis.

I meditate to strange music.

I like to soak the blender in the sink for many hours after making a smoothie. 

I drink instant coffee even though he makes delicious coffee every morning. 

I am a worse driver than he originally thought.

I spend the last fifteen minutes before leaving the house frantically rushing back and forth. 

Sweatpants and a sweatshirt without makeup is really my home uniform. My favorite sweat shirt is the red one  even though i have many sweatshirts.

I anthropormorphize  a lot with my dog (look it up if you don’t know what it means as I had to).

I believe it is his job to take out the garbage. 

I often say weird things like babe did you see my keys? did you see my wallet? 

Fly safe,

JAZ

Throw A Shoe At It And Other Things That I Learned From Being A Grown Up

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Throw A Shoe At it And Other Things That I learned From Being  A Grownup

The place is changed now, and many familiar faces are gone, but the greatest change is myself. I was a child then, I had no idea what the world would be like. I wished to trust myself on the waters and the sea.” Beatrix Potter

The day after my husband left, the smoke alarm on a high ceiling went off for no reason. I didn’t know what to do. I called him in tears. He said “It’s very technical.  Throw a shoe at it and call the repairman in the morning.”  I took off my shoe and threw it and the noise stopped  (albeit after a few throws). I realized then, that most people never actually feel like they  know what they are doing. We are all just winging it. Here are few other things I have learned about being a grown up.

Anyone can be an asshole; it’s much harder to be kind and understanding.

No one cares if you are popular.

Everything can be viewed as a learning experience.

Your childhood punishments become your hobbies. – not leaving your room, not leaving the house and missing a birthday party.

Never be afraid to ask for help.

Green vegetables are good for everyone and not just a way to get dessert. i even put a bad tasting powder one in a smoothie.

Worrying doesn’t work.

Everything is expensive.

Kids rarely make it to the bathroom when they say they are going to throw up.

Gratitude is the key to  happiness. My mother would always tell me to never feel sorry for her even though she had a tough life because she had the capacity for happiness and most people don’t. She understood that happiness came in moments.   I didn’t realize that was what gratitude meant until I was much older.

Maturity is not measured by how clean your house is, by the books you read or the movies you enjoy. It is not defined by your relationship status or how much money you make; it’s defined by how well you handle all the shit life has to throw at you. Everything else is just a cheap veneer.

Fly safe,
JAZ

Time

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Time

 “Sure, everything is ending,” Jules said, “but not yet.”Jennifer Egan

Every day, most of us are passing time. We often pass time without thinking too deeply about how. When today is gone, it’s gone forever. Time runs through the roughest day. It runs through the best day too. While time is passing—what we choose to do, how we choose to be and who we choose to be with is up to us. We measure time in years, minutes, hours, decades and memories. Here are some of my  ways of measuring time.

 3 weeks until my next dental appointment.

6 months since I’ve eaten dairy or gluten.

14 years since my husband left me.

 2 minutes until I hear the words Mueller report.

5 weeks until I will be in Iceland.

3 and a half years since my dog Basquiat died.

1 week since i moved in with the  BF.

5 months until we leave for Uruguay.

2 years since my daughter got married in South Africa.

4 days since I’ve done qi gong.

15 hours and 20 minutes  until I can drink coffee again.

Fly safe,

JAZ

Do Vegans Have Less Friends?

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Do Vegans Have Less Friends?

“I don’t like vegans, either. Bunch of whiny zealots. A cow or a pig wouldn’t give a damn if a person died… animals tear apart other animals while they’re still alive, but we aren’t so cruel, so vegans should learn to shut up. Vegans use palm oil and never think about the forests and endangered species at risk from that… and they all exploit the world in other ways, buying their computers and their sweatshop clothes and their Starbucks coffees.” Rebecca McNutt.

I returned from my last trip with a stomach bacteria. I did not get the bacteria there but have probably had it for a while. The cure is an antibiotic that will kill everything good and bad in your body and a weird strict diet that will not feed the bacteria for at least six months.  The bacteria caused several food allergies as well. The easiest way for me to eat these days is to be a Megan.- a meat-eating vegan. (albeit not in the same restaurant) 

It turns out that the  people who live a plant-based life style understand weird diets. I notice that many  people eat alone in vegan restaurants. I am not talking about the  hipster or Hollywood vegans that eat at the trendy vegan restaurants or have their vegan chefs prepare something.  I’m talking about small local restaurants. 

Most social gatherings revolve around food and the isolation of having a strict diet when your friends do not, can make it easier to eat alone. Dietary restrictions are annoying in social situations. I hate the constant deliberating and discussion  that i have to do with waiters in restaurants. I’m not normally that person. 

All vegans are not just focused on not eating dead animals. Some of them probably have eating issues or do it for health reasons. I sit alone in the restaurant and watch the other diners. I play my airport game of trying to figure out who everyone is.  Classic vegans.

 I look  at a man focused on his non dairy fettuccine alfredo and think that he is definitely a Bikram yoga instructor slash dog walker. The two woman who gush over their buffalo tofu sliders are life coach feminists with instagram accounts dedicated to their different  acai bowls. The woman  sitting over there in the corner is probably a two years sober tarot card reader who runs 12 step meetings.  The anorexic reiki healer cutting her food in many small pieces is pushing it around her plate while she talks to her friend, the mantra chanting, meditation specialist. The man next to her heads the community  vegetable garden and makes his own candles. 

Clearly these  people  have no idea how much I am missing cheese, coffee, sushi, fish,  bread and good dessert.  I make fun of vegans because I will never be cool enough to give up the occasional hot dog, hamburger and dairy products. I will never stretch regularly or be a healthy vessel of joy and peace. I make fun of them because I am not disciplined or good enough to be one of them.

Then, I look at myself in my flannel shirt and baggy jeans. I am drinking the now trendy celery juice  (yes i know you are supposed to drink it when you wake you up to cleanse your system but i just can’t)) and eating kale, brown rice and tempeh.  I see a man looking at me. He is  thinking that I just biked over here from a winter solstice ceremony and have a formally abused dog named Chakra. I am probably on my way to my alternative medicine doctor for acupuncture.

Fly safe,,

JAZ 

Ikagai – The Thing That Makes You Get Out Of Bed In The Morning

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”If you cannot fly then run, if you cannot run then walk, if you cannot walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.” Martin Luther King

I learned about ikagai in Okinawa. Okinawa has the largest population of centagenarians in  the world.  They say it is because of  the diet (seaweed and spam) and ikagai. The literal translation of ikagai is “a reason to get out of bed in the morning.” It is a lifestyle which balances the practical with the spiritual. It is easy to think about it when you are on the beautiful island of Okinawa.

The four elements  of Ikagai are what you’re passionate about, where your skills lie, how you can earn a living and what the world needs. It is the place where all those elements intersect. Discovering your own ikigai is said to bring fulfillment, happiness and a long life.

Finding your  purpose in life can resemble a winding quest, filled with many twists and wrong turns. When I learned about Ikagai, I wanted to dive right in and leap into action. But figuring out your ikagai doesnt happen that quickly. It involves self exploration and deep reflection. Your purpose unfolds and evolves over time.

Ikagai  in some ways, is like a compass. Aligning your actions with the “thing that makes you get out of bed  in the morning”  helps you navigate life’s ups-and-downs. As your career evolves and you’re presented with more opportunities, you can rely on your ikigai to steer you in the right direction.

Remember to evaluate your sense of happiness and purpose at every step along the way. By seeking growth that fits your sense of purpose, you pursue health, happiness and a long life as well.

Fly safe,

JAZ

Pretending To Be Evelyn

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Pretending To Be Evelyn

Some people go to priests, others to poetry, I to my friends.” Virginia Woolf

I’m at a point in my life where I am trying to work on myself  – to not  keep making the same mistakes, to be kinder, more confident, fearless, and to work out my tangled relationships.  I have observed some of my behaviors that have persisted for long periods of time. I  believe that“ is just the way I am.”

This is where my friend Evelyn comes in. Pretending to be Evelyn in certain situations helps me to behave with a new perspective.  I am not trying to copy Evelyn.  it  is more about  stepping outside my current self image. What does she do that is different from me? How can I learn to do this?

We start modeling our behavior based on what we see from others when we are very young. It’s a fundamental way our brains work and how they learn to adapt to our environment and social circle.  I know there are certain habits I’ve developed from my parents and certain phrases I have picked up from my friends.

Evelyn is great in social situations and parties. She introduces herself and is interested in meeting everyone. I prefer to sit in a corner with the one person that I know.

The boyfriend wanted to bring me to a party at his ex-wife’s house.  I was nervous and felt that everyone there would be judging me.  My sit in the corner routine was not going to work since it turned out that he was cooking. It was either going to be pretend to be sick or pretend to be Evelyn.  As a grownup now, I went with the second choice.  I introduced myself to anyone who walked by me which is so not my thing but it worked. I had people to talk to while he barbecued and his ex wife thought that I was “lovely”.

Being Evelyn is now my go to party persona. It makes it much easier to go into social situations when I don’t know people. Being Evelyn is an effective way of seeing myself in a new light.

I’m a grudge holder. It is hard for me to let go of anger. Evelyn who has been through illness and loss is the opposite.  “Let it go”, is her motto. There is nothing worse than trying to explain to her why I am mad at someone. She hates conflict. Her response is, “It is always best to be easy-going and do what is right in life. Life is hard enough so you don’t need to make it any harder.” I am a work in progress.

Friends are supposed to build you up and make you a better person. They are the people who help you push your boundaries and grow and you are supposed to do the same for them. Evelyn is that kind of friend.  At this point in my life, I am trying to only have friends like this. I am grateful for all of them.

Fly safe,

JAZ

 

Twenty-Five Things That I Want To Do In 2019

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Twenty Five Things That I Want To Do In 2019

“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.”  Helen Keller

Go to Sweden.

Go to Iceland.

Spend a day at the Blue Lagoon. 

Be a better friend.

Go to the Galápagos.

Plan less.

Read at least thirty books.

Go to the Amazon.

Take it bird by bird.

Drink one cup of coffee a day. 

Switch to Matcha Tea.

Go to Sedona.

Walk on the beach a few times a week.

Do a street art tour in Los Angeles instead of just taking photos.

See more of Australia.

Walk my dog every day.

Eat breakfast in Venice at least one a week. 

Go to the Faroe Islands.

Work on being fearless.

Give him a drawer.

Stay politically active.

See the Grand Canyon.

Always be grateful. 

Do more yoga

Meditate every day – maybe if I put it last I will do it.

Happy New Year and Fly Safe,

JAZ