Things I’m Not Going To Do As A Grandparent
If I had known grandkids were so much fun, I would have had them first.” unknown
They say you are never happier than your unhappiest child. My daughter just had a baby and I feel this is about to happen again. In order to have a good relationship with someone who is about to become the most important thing in my life, I am making a list of things not to do.
I’m not going to be the one to casually call at 3am to see if she is still breathing.
I’m not going to go out and buy every new type of smoke alarm for their house.
I’m not going to say anything else about the giant dog.
I understand my daughter loves me and will ignore every suggestion I have, so I will try not to give them.
I’m not going to have my feelings hurt when my daughter doesn’t take all her old toys and school work that I’ve saved for years to show her daughter.
I’m not going to worry about classes and drum lessons. I am going to take her to museums and theatre like my mom did for them.
I’m hoping that I will follow their rules when I’m babysitting and not turn into a really good liar. “ Of course, she didn’t use the iPad.” “ You know I don’t have sugar in the house.”
I will try not to read her books or let her watch TV programs that her parents don’t approve of. I will tell her Bunny and Squirrel stories like my mom told me and then told my children.
I’m not going to spoil her. I’m just going to be ……accommodating. I’m probably going to say yes a lot more than I did with my children.
I’m not going to post every single photo, video, or event on Instagram and Facebook. I am going to like or heart their photos.
I am going to get the photo albums out of storage to see who she looks like. I will try not to constantly compare them.
I’m going to stop complaining that I don’t have enough photos. If I could, I would hire a photographer to follow her around all day. She is only two days old.
I’m not going to ask to speak to the baby on the phone before she can speak. Luckily we have FaceTime now so I can make all the ridiculous baby sounds anyway.
Even though I hate being old, I’m going to try not to tell every single person I see that I am a grandma. “Oh, I thought you were my daughter calling, she just had a baby.” “ I’d like a drive through Covid test. my daughter just had a baby and I don’t want germs. ” “ I’m picking up this salad for my daughter who just had a baby.” Who am I kidding? It will probably turn into” I’m buying this jello because my granddaughter loves jello” .
I’m not going to have a cute grandma name. I tried them out but the only one that felt right was Nana. My daughter said” You can’t be Nana. Nana was Nana.” Which is exactly why I want the name. She was good at it.
I never had grandparents. The only one that was alive was my mother’s mother Sarah Berger, who died when I was three years old. My mother would always tell me how much she loved me. I never thought about that till now. I look at that black and white old photo that I have of her and wonder what she was like. It is weird that I keep a photo of her and my grandfather who I never knew out on display. I can only hope that I will be as good of a nana as my mom was to my children.