The  Best And Worst Thing About Quarantine With A Little Help From My Friends

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The  Best And Worst Thing About Quarantine With A Little Help From My Friends

“The best way out is always through.”  Robert Frost

BEST: I’m doing qi gong, yoga and meditation and a beach walk every day. It is helping my anxiety and I sleep great. WORST:  I cancelled two trips and I’m not traveling.  JZ

BEST is cleaning my desk, watching great tv and finally finishing a series. WORST is not being able to hug & kiss my kids, missing my friends and working out in a gym! EH

BEST is being with my dog 24/7. WORST is cooking three meals a day for my husband. SR

 BEST is that I don’t have to get dressed up and put on makeup to go to work. WORST is not going out to eat, to the movies, a play or concert with friends and not having home cooked Sunday dinners with my kids.  Oh and not having my housekeeper!  JL

BEST is pretty easy.  My immediate family and girlfriend are here all day.  WORST is my fears for people who are facing huge problems  and also some personal health fears.  Just thinking about the worst list makes me sense my blood pressure increasing.  LA

BEST is catching up with friends and relatives virtually. Also more time for reading, Spring cleaning and watching Netflix. WORST is not going to movies, the Grove, shopping, church, and hugging friends. EM

BEST:  As an extrovert, I was delightfully surprised to find that I no longer suffer from FOMO (Fear of Missing Out), because there’s not much to Miss Out on.  Instead, I can be fully present and do one thing at a time. WORST: My husband has “underlying health conditions” that make true isolation necessary for him, which means I have to be extremely careful, too.  So my time outside is limited. LM

BEST is getting a lot of sleep, having the time to try new recipes and beauty products and catching up on movies.WORST is being alone, stuck at home and not seeing, hugging or kissing friends and family. It is worrying about losing jobs, money and the future. NC

BEST is remembering what I am thankful for.  WORST is thinking that I will never travel again.TN

BEST is eating good food and watching good movies and TV shows.WORST is not seeing my friends and getting fat. DB

BEST is the confirmation that I definitely married the person in the world I would most like to be quarantined with. WORST is the constant low-level non-specific anxiety.  LO

BEST  is that I am finally getting rid of shit in my house.WORST is that I can’t spend time with my mom.This Sunday is her 95th Birthday. SF

BEST  is spending all this time with my boyfriend, just the two of us.WORST  (aside from missing personal grooming – Brazilian wax, fillers etc) is not getting together with friends for a meal. CL

BEST is getting to sleep later in the morning  and reading the whole NY Times. I’m even doing the Friday and Saturday crossword puzzles.  Also, having the time to reconnect with people in my life that I haven’t seen or heard from in a long time.WORST is that I miss seeing the people in my life. Zoom just doesn’t cut it after a while. HM

BEST is slowing down and having time to do a new project.WORST is isolation. MU

 BEST is that life is way simpler and more meaningful. Time is slower and faster and I am more aware of how precious life is and that what really matters most doesn’t need a new pair of shoes, dress or anything else to make it special.WORST is not being able to touch, hug and kiss family and friends. My daughter is pregnant and I worry about her. DG

 BEST Being with my family all the time.WORST Being with my family all the time MA

BEST is learning to cook.WORST is having the Corona Virus. AA

Thanks for the help.

Stay Safe,

JAZ

Pretending To Be Evelyn

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Pretending To Be Evelyn

Some people go to priests, others to poetry, I to my friends.” Virginia Woolf

I’m at a point in my life where I am trying to work on myself  – to not  keep making the same mistakes, to be kinder, more confident, fearless, and to work out my tangled relationships.  I have observed some of my behaviors that have persisted for long periods of time. I  believe that“ is just the way I am.”

This is where my friend Evelyn comes in. Pretending to be Evelyn in certain situations helps me to behave with a new perspective.  I am not trying to copy Evelyn.  it  is more about  stepping outside my current self image. What does she do that is different from me? How can I learn to do this?

We start modeling our behavior based on what we see from others when we are very young. It’s a fundamental way our brains work and how they learn to adapt to our environment and social circle.  I know there are certain habits I’ve developed from my parents and certain phrases I have picked up from my friends.

Evelyn is great in social situations and parties. She introduces herself and is interested in meeting everyone. I prefer to sit in a corner with the one person that I know.

The boyfriend wanted to bring me to a party at his ex-wife’s house.  I was nervous and felt that everyone there would be judging me.  My sit in the corner routine was not going to work since it turned out that he was cooking. It was either going to be pretend to be sick or pretend to be Evelyn.  As a grownup now, I went with the second choice.  I introduced myself to anyone who walked by me which is so not my thing but it worked. I had people to talk to while he barbecued and his ex wife thought that I was “lovely”.

Being Evelyn is now my go to party persona. It makes it much easier to go into social situations when I don’t know people. Being Evelyn is an effective way of seeing myself in a new light.

I’m a grudge holder. It is hard for me to let go of anger. Evelyn who has been through illness and loss is the opposite.  “Let it go”, is her motto. There is nothing worse than trying to explain to her why I am mad at someone. She hates conflict. Her response is, “It is always best to be easy-going and do what is right in life. Life is hard enough so you don’t need to make it any harder.” I am a work in progress.

Friends are supposed to build you up and make you a better person. They are the people who help you push your boundaries and grow and you are supposed to do the same for them. Evelyn is that kind of friend.  At this point in my life, I am trying to only have friends like this. I am grateful for all of them.

Fly safe,

JAZ

 

Facebook Messages From Around The World

Facebook Messages From Around The World

“Can we go back to using Facebook for what it was originally for – looking up exes to see how fat they got?” Bill Maher

Facebook has given us the ability to simultaneously connect with our best friend in the first grade, our cousins all over the world, assorted friends, relatives, acquaintances and people you have met once. With the click of a button I can see that someone I thought that I had left behind long ago had a double cappuccino for breakfast.

Like all technological advances, whether it is good or bad for you depends on how you use it. I happen to love a Facebook birthday. I like waking up to see people who I barely know or haven’t seen in years have wished me a Happy Birthday. I make it a point to do the same. It has its critics. Facebook not people are remembering the birthdays. It is a step above doing nothing, They still had to type it. i can do the once a year thing. But lately I have received these kinds of Facebook messages.

Two of your friends from Viet Nam are celebrating the Autumn Festival.

Three of your friends from Mexico are celebrating Mexican Independence Day.

Am I being rude or culturally biased not to wish them Happy Autumn Festival? Am I committing some Social Media faux pas that I don’t know about yet by not saying Happy Independence Day? Will they be getting a message that says eight of your friends are from America. They are celebrating Veterans Day. Send them a message.

I’m getting the idea that Facebook loves sending notifications so we can spend more time on Facebook. There is definitely a way to manage these notifications. For me, it involves more time, on the internet to figure it out. It is just easier to wish all my Japanese friends a Happy Cherry Blossom Festival.

Fly safe,
JAZ

Tell Me How Much You Have Traveled

“Don’t tell me how educated you are, tell me how much you have traveled.” — Mohammed

I’m sorry to start this blog on a sad note but one of my close friends died this morning unexpectedly.  He was a world renowned geneticist .  His vocation  gave him the ability to do what he loved  –  do good work and see the world.

Besides medical questions,  you could go to David with any travel question you had and he  probably had the answer.  He was his own travel agent. He was an expert in the field of airline savings (his specialty was business and first class) and was a mileage savant . His area of expertise was finding the best websites  for travel deals. His  forte was five star hotels.

He lectured and treated patients all over the world,.  His patients and colleagues became his friends.  Therefore his own travelogues  were filled with personal recommendations and interesting people.  I’m particularly jealous of his trip to India.  ( where he was treating one of the princesses)

I’m also in awe of the packing skills of David and his beautiful wife Ann. I happened to be staying at their house on the morning they were leaving for India for a few weeks.  It was their first trip  to that country.  They hadn’t started thinking about packing till the night before. They were still packing  in the morning as the car pulled up to take them to the airport.   I am not that casual   a traveler.

David loved to tell his travel stories and I loved hearing them.   Whether he was driving through Yugoslavia, trying to get to the airport in China, seeing the cremations at Varinasi,  meeting friends in Red Square, or  visiting Annie in Africa, it always sounded like an adventure.  He went to more places than most of us will ever go in our lifetime.  Ann, Lauren and Michael were always ready to join him.

My last travel question to him was two weeks ago. (My last medical question was one week ago) Should my son stay on the Hong Kong or Kowloon side?  Of course David had been to that country  many times and had the answer.  I will miss him. Fly safe David.

JAZ