Things That I Have Learned About Him After Being In A Relationship For Two Years

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Things That I’ve learned About Him After Being In A Relationship For Two Years

“It reminds me of that old joke –  you know, a guy walks into a psychiatrist’s office and says, hey doc, my brother’s crazy! He thinks he’s a chicken. Then the doc says, why don’t you turn him in? Then the guy says, I would but I need the eggs. I guess that’s how I feel about relationships. They’re totally crazy, irrational, and absurd, but we keep going through it because we need the eggs.”Woody Allen

He is great at birthdays, flowers and Christmas.

Never travel with him when he is writing. Even if he says “it won’t be like the last time.” It will. Travel anywhere with him when he is not writing. He is a great traveler. 

He has excellent musical taste.  If he says let’s go to this concert or hear this musician, I just say yes because I know that it is going to be good. 

Always tell him he looks terrific when he does. He likes that. However, when an outfit choice is questionable and you mention it – then you are shallow.  

He is a popcorn hoarder. I am a popcorn sharer. It is less caloric if you eat out of one box of popcorn. He does’not get that.  

He is very generous with wine. Sharing a glass of wine is totally fine. Sharing a second  and third glass is fine also.

He is not a casual chef. Each meal is a challenge and has to be the best thing he has ever cooked. Every dinner with guests is a chance to try some new difficult recipe he has never attempted,  It is always delicious but a bit stressful. 

My dog does not like him. He expects dogs to just like him. That is what dogs do. Not Banksy – he is jealous. It has been two years and Banksy still acts like when he gets back into bed he is attacking us and when he leaves the house  he is stealing something.

He gets bored driving down the same street. He prefers to drive the long route if that is  what his car navigation tells him to do.  If he asks how should I go, it is best if I don’t answer because he will only follow part of the directions.

He doesn’t like it when I tell him to turn left three times and he already knows that. He also doesn’t like it when I don’t say anything and he misses the turn.

If I mention that I like a song, he learns how to play it on the guitar for me. That is really sweet. He is like my high school boyfriend. 

 Relationships are not easy but we work at it.  I think it will  turn out that by taking a chance and moving in together  we will gain a lot more than we lose. Love wins.

Fly safe,

JAZ

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Banksy’s First Night In The New House

Banksy’s first night in the new house

“She took a step and didn’t want to take any more, but she did.”
Markus Zusak, The Book Thief

Dogs don’t understand concepts like moving. They don’t even understand that when you leave the house you are coming back. Moving can be more stressful on a dog than kids. I have a particularly nervous puppy. He is small and he can squeeze through most little spaces when in panic mode. Also Banksy is – to put it delicately, not that smart. I don’t think he is well equipped with coping mechanisms.

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He did not do well with the packing and sorting stage which went on for a while. It was a big house. People were coming and going and he was not happy as big pieces of furniture that I gave away left the house. He did not like all the plastic bags and boxes of stuff around. He fell into psychological chaos – barking much more, having a lot of accidents, following me around the house and never leaving my side, except to rip up any paper he could find.

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Also, he is not a fan of stairs,. Both small and large flights elicit heavy breathing then crying followed by piercing yelps.

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The new house has two and half flights of steps and one of them is not small dog or child friendly. Banksy is not a problem solver. When he thinks there is a problem the heavy breathing/crying begins.

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Banksy stayed with a friend during the three days of moving and packing. Moving is the most stressful thing a person can do and he was already feeling it. An open door is the time for him to flee if someone decides to go out and leave him in the kitchen with music on. it was better not to have him around during the actual move.

Banksy arrived at the new house with workers there. I had set up a space with his stuff. He looked around and fell asleep.

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I took him outside and within one minute he had a found a way out to the street and was running down the block. I’m sure he was trying to get home. All the stairs were freaking him out. He went back to sleep. He didn’t feel like playing with toys. He woke up again ate something and looked around. He saw that we were still here and he went back to sleep. I say it’s ok every five minutes.

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.  Banksy is a hyperactive puppy and while all this sleeping makes him a good neighbor, he is clearly depressed. He doesn’t want to walk. He doesn’t like the sand, wind, cars and bikes and people.

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Instead of quiet Mandeville Canyon we are living in a beach community in the middle of the summer. There are loud scary noises coming from every direction. He is exhausted from being on alert all the time.

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Banksy has a lot of fears of things that don’t really present any harm to him. Today Banksy played with his toys and has reluctantly gone up and down the steps a few times.  Life is getting better.  Once he learns to stay positive and embrace the full reality of the move he will be fine.

Fly safe,

JAZ

I Know This Is A Travel Blog But My Dog Died

I Know This Is A Travel Blog But My Dog Died

“Dogs have a way of finding the people who need them, Filling an emptiness we don’t even know we have.” Thom Jones

I know that this is a travel blog but Basquiat was my first dog. He was black, part French, slept in a box for a minute, and looked like he had short dreadlocks. He reminded me of an artist I liked, Jean Michel Basquiat during his short dreadlock, sleep in a box period. He was my empty nest dog. I was having lunch near a pet store and walked in and a little black puppy came up to me. I thought he was saying “Hi I’d like you to be my owner,“ so I bought him. What I now know was that he was saying ”Hi, I’m in charge here.“ And that has been our relationship for the past nine and a half years. I thought dogs were supposed to live longer than that.

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He seemed to be everything a dog should be – loyal, friendly, good-tempered, grateful and smart – very smart. He understood a lot of words. I think he got my jokes. Though like my kids, he appeared to be deaf when he did something wrong.

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He was affectionate and a hugger. When you took him in the car, the first thing he did was hug the driver (whether it was me or someone we didn’t know) He would put his paws around your neck and say thank you for taking me in your car. He would bark when he had something to say. He believed he could talk.

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My son had just moved back from college when I got him and so he adopted the lifestyle of a 21-year-old. He woke up between eight thirty and ten thirty AM. He had his first meal at three and his second at 11pm and went to bed around two. I could never break him of that long after my son moved out. He was not an eater. He preferred to be hand fed or eat people food. Basquiat would go on a hunger strike like Gandhi but with a lot more drama till he got what he wanted to eat. I always caved first. He liked fresh water. If it wasn’t fresh he would stand at the bowl and bark. He was afraid of drowning. If a water bowl was too big he wouldn’t drink from it or he would stand too far away to get any water. Basq’s best friend was Ernie next door. I never saw him play with another dog the way he played with Ernie. They had a real bond. I didn’t know animals could be best friends. I thought that was only in Disney movies.

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Dogs love you unconditionally. They don’t see your neuroses, flaws, disabilities or any of the other things that cause the judgment that the human brain does. I think that dogs see into your heart and make their decisions from there. My dog’s love and support has gotten me through a lot of tough times. It will be difficult to get through loss without him. He was around for a lot of changes in my life.

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The hardest thing about loving a dog is his life span. In that short time they live in the moment, always give a hundred per cent and make you feel that you are their reason for being. I will miss him terribly. I will miss his dramatics of acting like he will never see me again every time I leave the house without him. I will miss him coming to greet me at the door every time I come home like I have been away for weeks. I will miss our imaginary conversations. I have a good dog voice for him. I will miss being the focus of his love, faith and trust. His only fault was that he lived too short of a time.

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He had a great life. He was a bit spoiled and well taken of especially when his heart began to fail. When I die, I want to come back as the first dog of a woman who’s youngest child has just gone off to college.

Fly safe Basq

JAZ