Things That I Have Learned About Myself After Being In A Relationship For A Year

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Things That I Have Learned About Myself After Being In A Relationship For A Year.

“I no longer believed in the idea of soul mates, or love at first sight. But I was beginning to believe that a very few times in your life, if you were lucky, you might meet someone who was exactly right for you. Not because he was perfect, or because you were, but because your combined flaws were arranged in a way that allowed two separate beings to hinge together.” Lisa Kleypas

The year has been exciting, emotional, amazing, challenging, frustrating, enchanting, surprising, and about fifty other adjectives that range from great to terrible. But it has all been worth it. And it has been one of the greatest learning experiences of my life. Here are some of the things that I have learned. 

I eat so much more than he does.

I boyfriend proofed my house. I hid everything that I did not want him to see. Don’t hide things that you use every day because you will need them and have to look for them in the middle of the night.

Character is important – loyalty,  discipline,  values, integrity, kindness  and  humility.

Intelligence is also important.

I still take my make up off after he goes to sleep.

One of you is going to be the sloppy one. Yes, my purse looks like an episode of hoarders. The other one will cook.

It is true that I have way too many pillows on my bed. They are all my favorite pillows. I like to have my  pillows arranged in a particular way because I am a terrible sleeper and I feel it helps. He can sleep with any pillow. It works.

Laughing is great. We can both laugh at ourselves.  Sometimes I laugh  when I am by myself and I think of something funny that he said earlier.  It’s a little weird.

We have the same taste in music. Not the regular stuff that everyone likes but also Tom Waits and Bach.

We have similar taste in clothes but he puts them together better now. I like having a blank canvas to work with. 

There are people who  leave things open – toothpaste, vitamins, cabinets and people who do not.

An argument is an annoying learning opportunity. We don’t have them often.

There is a difference between a red flag and a human flaw. Being in a relationship doesn’t fix anyone’s flaws.

Beautiful flowers always work when you make a mistake.

We are going to continue to get to know each other –  the good and the bad. It’s a process. Relationships get real. I’m learning that.

Fly safe,

JAZ

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Being A Godmother To A Baby Who Lives In Another Country

Being A Godmother To A Baby Who Lives In Another Country

“Babies are such a nice way to start people.” Don Herold

I was asked to be the godmother of a good family friend’s baby girl. I immediately said yes but then I wondered what it meant. Did it mean that I believe in God? Did it mean that I lived my life with honesty, integrity, kindness and did not hurt anyone? I’m not hundred percent in any of these areas but I try.

I looked it up. In the old days, a godmother was responsible for the religious education of the child. Since they live in Israel, and I live in the US and I’m not religious, I don’t see that happening. When people didn’t live as long, the godparent was in charge should something happen to the parents. I think that there are way too many younger blood relatives ahead of me for that job.

Maybe in this day and age a godparent means that you are part of the village it takes to raise a child. It is a place to go when your parents who are human get it wrong. In her teenage years if she slams the door when things don’t go her way, a godmother can take her in, listen to her troubles, calm her down and send her home when she is ready.

Or maybe, when it is long distance, it is a way of saying, “Stay in my life, come visit, baby sit, learn about my country, stay in touch, watch me grow up and be there if I need you. Stay connected. Be my family too”. This I can do.

Fly safe,

JAZ