People I Want To Punch In The Face.On Social Media
“Distracted from distraction by distraction” T.S.Eliot
The Whitney Museum has a beautiful leather-covered and embossed journal for the holiday season entitled People I Want To Punch In The Face. Here is an excerpt from the social media section of my book.
Self Promoting Bloggers who just want to make money. They run ads all the time . They write about them. They are boring. Write what you love. The rest will come or it won’t but you will still have your self-respect.
Narcissists No one cares when you woke up, what song is on the radio, where you are having lunch, what your cute dog did today or how long you worked out.
Foodies. Being a foodie is awesome but we do not need to see every single culinary creation or meal in your life.
People who ask wrong social media questions A good question for social media is – Where can I eat in Denver on Tuesday? A wrong question is – Which color shirt should I wear today? There are some things you need to figure out for yourself.
People who post pictures of coffee on instagram. I’m a coffee addict. If you want me to care about the coffee/ latte /frappe you are drinking, I hope it’s the only one of its kind ever made.
Instagrammers I Hate I dislike the people who post OOTD (outfit of the day) unless that is your job, selfies. the same things everyone else is doing, pretend sleeping photos, or engagement rings (OMG)
Fake followers who unfollow you after you follow them back. I will unfollow you back surferdude and fuckkale.
Dumpers Keep depressing posts to a minimum. Promote positivity and humor when possible. We are going to need it in the next four years.
Threat Posters If you don’t repost this you don’t love your children, you won’t get to heaven, you are not an American or care how fast this gets around the world. Yes that would be me.
Presidential Tweeters They just aren’t presidential.