Weird Things I’ve Learned In LA

“You’re not going to see people like this again for a long time, he said and I said I always saw people like this & he looked at me for a moment and said, You’re not from around here, are you?” Brian Andreas, Story People

You can drive one block in Los Angeles. In fact most people do.

Parking meters in Venice can only be used for their allotted time. If you try to put more money in, you have to move your car and come back. Is this something new?

The bus system in Los Angeles is a lot like a third world country.  The bus is on a major street and for no reason makes a turn to go down a quiet residential block and then come back. I picture the driver saying “Hm that looks like a nice street. I think I will go there.”

The subway system goes no where that I need to be.

Every few blocks in LA  is a different city or named something different. Ex Beverly Hills, Beverly Hills Adjacent, Beverly Hills Post Office. Beverly Hills Flats.

Los Angeles is the most populated city in  California and the second most populated in the United States, after New York City.

It is illegal to manufacture pickles in the industrial zone of downtown Los Angeles.

When Los Angeles was founded in 1781, 44 people (14 families) lived in El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de Los Angeles de la Porciuncula (Town of Our Lady the Queen of the Angeles of the Small Portion). The population grew, but the name shrank to simply “Los Angeles.”

Animals are banned from mating publicly in LA within 1500 feet of a tavern, school or place of worship. It is a big problem for my dog.

The citizens of Los Angeles are called ‘Angelenos’, which  rhymes with casinos.

The Shirley Temple, a non-alcoholic cocktail, was invented in Los Angeles.

Los Angeles is home to over 1.2 million college graduates. Many of them are actor waiters and their parents are not happy.

There are lots of beautiful people in Los Angeles – highly concentrated in upscale nightclubs and expensive shopping areas . There are also lots of ordinary people who make the effort to look their best. Sometimes too much effort leads to scary.

It is not a great place to grow old. I picture plastic surgeons who look at these women who try so hard and say after the anesthesia” Ok, let’s have some fun.”

Los Angeles is considered to be the world’s entertainment center. Here, on an everyday basis, there are over 100 movie and television production crews shooting for their respective soaps/films on location.

Los Angeles is not filed with beautiful blondes. It is 70 per cent non white with Hispanic being the largest percentage. Orange County is filled with beautiful blondes.

There are sixty-five people in Los Angeles who have the legal name Jesus Christ.

The Summer Olympics have been hosted twice by the city of Los Angeles, first in 1932, and then again in 1984.

Jeans and flip-flops go just about everywhere in LA.

The most important industry in LA is manufacturing.

Most of your waiter and waitresses are actors, models, dancers and comedians.

It is illegal for human beings to marry rocks in the City of Los Angeles. But it is not illegal to marry rock stars.

The Rams came to L.A. from Cleveland in 1946. The Dodgers arrived from Brooklyn in 1958, the Lakers from Minneapolis in 1960, and the Kings were an NHL expansion team in 1967. Prior to the Rams’ arrival, the L.A. sports scene centered on UCLA, USC, and two minor league baseball teams

You rarely get a straight answer when asking people in LA what they do for a living. They are between projects or a life coach or a pet psychic etc. 

Every year, about 100,000 women in Los Angeles County have their breasts enhanced.

Someone in LA will always tell you when mercury is in retrograde. Someone from NY will never know this.

In LA, they know how to make a great salad but not bagels, chinese food or cannoli.

In LA most people do not come to a complete stop at a stop sign. It is called the California slide or roll.  I learned that it is illegal. Long day at traffic school for trying to fit in.

There are four times more hamburgers eaten in Los Angeles County than in the rest of California. Is that because we have more In and Out Burgers?

Fly Safe,

JAZ