Annoying Things To Say To Stewardesses

“A little girl turns to the stewardess as the plane is taking off and says,”When are we going to get smaller?” Anon

I can’t get this window to open.

Can you get me a blanket and a pillow?

I didn’t get upgraded because I’m too pretty. Flight attendants hate pretty girls.

Can you help me find the box cutter in my carry on luggage?

I’ll have a water and two sleeping pills.

I was using my cigarette lighter in the bathroom because I couldn’t see.

I have no idea who left this crackpipe in the bathroom.

How much more time do we have?

Can we lower the engine noise?

Am I going to make my connection? (like they know)

You went to college?

How is the pilot feeling today? Happy, sad, suicidal?

So are we just going to see clouds?

And my personal favorite. Could you help me put this heavy bag in the overhead compartment? (I heard a stewardess tell a 90 year old woman that if she couldn’t carry her luggage she should not be traveling.  I had “blood in my eyes”)

Fly safe

,JAZ