Things Not To Say To A World Traveler

“I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places“. 
Henny Youngman

I think I have ebola. ( or whatever the current scary virus is)

What is that in your carry on? It looks like a bomb.

You should have been here twenty years ago before it was ruined.

Oh, you don’t act like an American. They are loud and complaining. ( fill in country you are from and stereotypical adjectives)

Oh you don’t look American. They are usually fat. ( again fill in country you’re from and matching stereotypical adjectives here)

There are too many tourists here.

I hear it is really unsafe where you are going.

Your English is pretty good. ( make sure they aren’t from an English-speaking country or grew up in one first)

Didn’t you know that you need a visa?

I’ll just wait till we find a clean toilet where you don’t have to squat.

Oh good, they have McDonald’s.

We don’t have your reservation.

How many countries have you been to? I’ve been to 77.

I’m so glad I met you because no one speaks English here.

I just came in from Liberia ( or wherever the new scary virus is from).

Fly safe,

JAZ