Category Archives: Airports

Top Ten Things Not To Bring On A Plane In Your Carry On Luggage

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Top Ten Things Not To Bring On A Plane In Carry On Luggage

“Don’t let your luggage define your travels, each life unravels differently.” unknown

1. box cutters – ok I get this one.

2. Snow globes larger than a tennis ball. I think that they mean the large intricate ones that you buy in Christmas markets in Austria, Germany or Eastern Europe. I’m guessing it has more than 3 and half ounces of liquid. How do the TSA agents  feel taking Santa on a sleigh in the snow away from a kid in the airport at Christmas? I love snow globes.

3. Anything that looks like or can be used as a weapon – toy guns, baseball bats, hockey and lacrosse sticks ski poles, sabers, swords, knives of any kind and scissors that are not for nails.

4. Liquids over 3.4 oz. This limits my food shopping when I travel and my impulse food buys in the airport gift shops. This includes interesting sauces, weird nut butters, dips and spreads, jams, jellies, preserves, wine, liquors, salad dressings, olive oils, vinegars – things I am not comfortable with in my checked luggage. The TSA rule of thumb to remember is “If you can spill it, spread it, smear it, squeeze it, spray it, pump it, or pour it,” then travelers should check it. Why does the TSA being cute annoy me?

5.Guns, gun powder, bullets, explosive devices, spare parts of guns and fire arms, grenades, flares, gunlighters and ammunition. So where can you actually have this stuff? I would like to avoid those areas.

6.Tools over seven inches. This includes hatchets, axes and saws. I like this one. I often see people on planes who look crazy.

7.Anything flammable. I’m good with that. I have bad fire karma. My house burned down twice as a kid. The second time it was hit by lightning. This is probably not a good time to tell that story.

8.Illegal controlled substances. Does that mean drugs? Watch a few episodes of Locked Up Abroad (they are almost always picked up in the airport)  and you probably won’t want to be carrying that with you. These are not Martha Stewart prisons.

9.Disabling chemicals – bleach, fire extinguishers, chlorine, spray paint, tear gas, recreational oxygen (what is fun oxygen?) How did they make up this list? Did someone think of things that could be dangerous? Was it a committee? Are these things that were confiscated? I have to say I would also be suspicious of someone with a fire extinguisher, spray paint and tear gas in their carry on.

10. Anything they feel like taking. I’ve lost many lip glosses, lipsticks, tweezers, batteries and sewing kits. Sometimes I feel protected and other times I feel they are saving the world one confiscated item at a time.

Fly safe,

JAZ

The Last Things That I Did When Traveling

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The Last Things That I Did When Traveling

“it can hardly be a coincidence that no language on earth has ever produced the expression”as pretty as an airport” Doug McAdams

People magazine thinks that I want to know the last things celebrities did before that interview.  I think that you must want to know about the last things I did when traveling .

The last piece of gum that I chewed on a plane before landing – Trident Peppermint I prefer the Bubblegum flavor for flying but I didn’t see it in Sydney airport.

The last trashy magazine that I bought in an airport and the last trashy article I read in it – Australian OK magazine – I only buy gossip magazines when I fly and then I buy all of them like they are crack cocaine. The last article was some Kardashian story like the hem on Kim’s dress was falling down creating yet another fashion faux pas. Her publicity hungry “mum” was happy. Khloe was jealous and doing something outrageous like divorcing her cheating, drug addict husband for attention. Kourtney was whining.

The last presents that I bought in an airport – Tim Tams, Crocodile and Kangaroo Jerky.

The last room service meal I had in a hotel – The Henry Jones Art Hotel, Hobart Tasmania. I believe it was fish .

The last movie I saw on a plane – Identity Thief and half of the Great Gatsby

The last book I read on a plane – In A Sunburned Country by Bill Bryson . It is published under the name  Down Under in Australia and everywhere that is not  Canada or the US.

The last thing I took from a hotel room – It is always the baby soaps, lotions, shower caps and tea. I have a whole collection. I think that I might be a hoarder.  In Japan there are a lot more “giveaways” as I call them – hairbrush, razor, toothbrush toothpaste, nailbrush, pajamas, kimonos etc.

The last souvenir I bought for myself – It’s always a Starbucks mug from a country with Starbucks. I don’t even like the coffee anymore but I like the collection of mugs.

The last time I used hand motions to communicate – Kaiseri, Turkey. At the airport, I was trying to explain that my friend was given the wrong thing in the coffee shop. I was saved by someone who spoke Turkish and English.

The last song I listened to on the plane with my iPod – “Ways To Go” Grouplove.  It is also the last song I listened to in my car today.

The last time I got lost in an airport – It is always Miami. I went to school there and it was a cute little airport. Now it is a big confusing airport. it is easier to find my way in downtown Tokyo where I don’t speak or read the language.

The last time I cursed at Customs in my head – It is always Miami (except when it is Chicago or summer in any major airport)  It is always a mess unless you arrive at 4AM when they open.

The last selfie I took with my Iphone – Misiones, Argentina. It was terrible and reminiscent of Picasso.  I havent attempted it since.

The last flight I missed. – Sydney to Melbourne. There was a computer glitch. The airline I booked with (Delta) had a record of the Virgin Australia flight to Melbourne but Virgin did not.  They were dealing with other people’s problems and by the time they got to mine it was too late to board the plane. It is a once in a while thing that happens. If you are booking with two different airlines, it is a good idea to call the second airline to make sure they got the flight reservation. Don’t assume because you got the email with both flights on it that the second airline knows about it. Always bring the email –if I didn’t have it, they would have made me get another ticket. Who knew?

The last time something was stolen from my luggage – Moscow, Russia . All my luggage tags (Is that a big black market item?), and all my dirty underwear and sox which I keep in the outside zipper compartment. My thinking of who would steal dirty underwear and twice worn sox did not apply to people working in the airport in Moscow.

The last time I lost my luggage – JFK in NY. There were a couple of years after 9/11 that AA was constantly losing luggage. It happened numerous times in NY and Chicago. The suitcase always arrived early in the morning.  I now  fly with a change of underwear, big t shirt., medicines makeup and a toothbrush in my carry on.

The last time my luggage was overweight – always.

I hope this was as interesting for you as reading about Don Cheadle’s last things he did before that interview was for me.

Fly Safe,

JAZ